The rules are simple & may be adapted for a variety of uses:
- The next time you are invited to a birthday party, or are planning a party for someone yourself, don't just resign yourself to singing the same old song on auto-pilot. Instead, plan ahead!
- Consider the guest-of-honor: For whom is the party being given? How old are they? What are they like? Most specifically, what kind of music do they like?
- Next, select a song from popular music that has NOTHING TO DO with the person being celebrated. (Bad songs from the '70s & '80s are the best idea, something known to almost everyone is a good guideline, even a song the birthday boy or girl actively dislikes is OK!) The more inappropriate, the better!
- For your information, the song Happy Birthday takes about 20 seconds or so to sing. Therefore, pick a 20 to 30 second sample of a song. If you're not certain of the length, sing your selected lines & time yourself! (The chorus is your best bet, as it is most recognizable to all.)
- Visit an on-line lyrics database (see Links), look up your chosen song, & copy & paste the lyrics of your selected 20 to 30 seconds (i.e., just the chorus) into your favorite word processing program.
- Put the lyrics into a somewhat scaled-down size, but use a highly readable font.
- Manipulate the document you have created so that your printer will spit out multiple copies of the couple of musical bars you have selected. i.e., Cut & paste ad infinitum. (See the template for an example.) You might need 2 or 3 or 10 copies of this same page, depending on how many people will be at the party.
- Print out your pages, & use scissors to cut the hard copy into little crib sheets, each with its own complete set of lyrics to your selected part.
- Bring the crib sheets to the party & disseminate them surreptitiously. Remember: You don't want the guest-of-honor to suspect that they are going to get any other song sung to them but the usual boring fare.
- As you hand out the little slips of paper, inform each partygoer that when the birthday boy or girl is in place & ready to be feted, & when the cake is brought in with candles aglow, instead of singing Happy Birthday, everyone has been instructed to break into to the song on the slip of paper. Let the fun begin!
*boycott "Happy Birthday" & change national consciousness, one bad song at a time*